


Potter's fault

by lothloxrien



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 8th year, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drarry, Getting Back Together, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 19:45:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17873657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lothloxrien/pseuds/lothloxrien
Summary: "It had been Potter all this time ago and now, when he finally thought the boy wouldn’t matter anymore, it started to be his fault again."





	Potter's fault

Draco told himself to focus on the wind. For a moment it worked; his eyes followed the colorful leaves whistling through the air before they slowly fell to the ground. In circles, he added. There were a lot of those leaves and they came in all colors and shapes. He saw red ones in round formes and yellow ones that were sharp and there was orange and brown and they were large and little and in every shape Draco could imagine.

If Draco felt peaceful at this moment, he would have taken his wand out to create a dance with these leaves. He would have made them fly around and let them form little figures and he probably would had the time of his life. Just.. He wasn’t calm at the moment and it didn’t matter how hard the tried to focus on the wind and its doings.

In fact, his hands were slightly shaking and every once a while he thought his legs would give in. His throat felt dry and he was sure he couldn’t bring out one single word if he tried. And of course, this was Potter’s fault.

It was always Potter’s fault.

It had been Potter all this time ago and now, when he finally thought the boy wouldn’t matter anymore, it started to be his fault again.

Draco had been in his 8th year dorm. He had been studying and his head had been free from all bad thoughts (which happened rarely in these times). And then it knocked. Draco wished he hadn’t answered because a second later Harry Potter stood in the door.

“Hey”, Potter had said. The first word he had said to him after a year.. was _hey_.

It wasn’t an odd thing to say, to be honest. Of course it wasn’t. Lots of conversation started like Potter had just started theirs. But Draco was speechless. And so he stared at him and stared and stared. And it hurted how Harr- Potter‘s features were still so familiar to him.

Then, after what felt like an eternity, he finally answered: “Why are you here?” He had tried for a cold, steady voice and failed miserably, a slight quiver finding their way into his words.

Potter’s mouth had opened but no words came out and so Draco stared a little longer at him. It was frustrating.

“Can we please talk?” Potter had said after another exhausting long time and he had looked around, just then noticing Blaise Zabini in the room “Somewhere private?”

And that was why it had been Potter’s fault again. Now he was walking silently next to him, nearly how they used to do so often, just without the linked hands. And the happiness, Draco’s brain noted helpful.

Draco didn’t even know where they were going, he had just nodded silently when Potter asked, because how could he have declined? The only thing he knew was that he wanted answers.

“Let’s sit here” Har- Potter offered suddenly and Draco only now realized that they were standing in front of a bench.

He nodded and sat down next to his ex, a word he usually never used for him. When it had been over Draco simply went back from Harry to Potter and it never occurred to him to call him his ex. But when had his life ever stayed usual for long?

For a moment, they sat in silence and Draco tried to focus on the wind once again but it didn’t help his trembling heart or his shaking hands. And he knew he should have let Harry - Potter, _Potter_ speak, let him explain whatever he called him here for but he just couldn’t.

“Why?”, he simply asked and looked up from the ground. Staying calm was such a hard thing to do.

“What do you mean? Why I wanted to talk or-”

Draco cut him off “Why did you break up with me in the worst fucking way, why did you cut me out so suddenly over a letter, Potter, I repeat, a _letter_?”

The words were out and Draco breathed heavily. He had been asking himself this for over a shitty year now. It had broken him a thousand times and it still broke him.

“I couldn’t do anything else, Draco.”

“Don’t you dare Draco me now!”, he snapped angrily, his chest feeling tighter suddenly. He looked away.

“I’m sorry.”

“Oh, now you are sorry? After a year! I can't believe my fucking ears. Harry Potter, the golden boy, is sorry now!”

“Please, hear me out. I-”

“Cut the shit, Potter. You were everything I had and you left me in the middle of a fucking war and never bothered to tell me why! Do you know what you did to me?”, he screamed now and couldn’t help the first tear running down his cheek. “Do you know what you did?!”

He closed his eyes and breathed uncontrollably. He sobbed. And he sobbed again, harder this time. He couldn’t help it and suddenly he was crying and shivering and everything came up again. All the emptiness he had felt over the months evolved into _feelings_. He felt angry and sad and like a fucking idiot to ever get involved with Harry Potter in the first place. He felt so much at once, it wasn’t describable.

And then he felt a hand touching his. And the hand was so familiar, so known to him. He couldn’t stand it.

“Get the fuck away from me!”, he yelled and abruptly stood up.

He tried to take a step but his sight was filled with tears and his legs felt weak and everything was too much. He crashed to the ground and instantly let out a heavy sob. His head hurted and his whole body burned. Why did he bother coming here? What did he hope for?

He felt a shadow over him and looked up with wet eyes to find Harry’s. He held the sob back that only came up from finally looking into those fascinating eyes again and instead tried pushing Harry away. He didn’t even bother calling him Potter anymore. It didn’t matter anyway.

Nothing really mattered anymore.

And that’s why he didn't push him away again when Harry slung his arms around Draco, kneeling next to him on the ground and softly pressing Draco’s head against his chest. And it felt so good to finally be in his arms again, to smell his sweet scent and to feel the soft fabric of his sweater again.

They sat like this for a few minutes and Harry whispered nonsense into Draco’s ear and patiently waited for him to calm down. And slowly Draco’s sobs went quieter and then stopped completely.

“Draco?”

Draco answered with releasing his head from Harry’s chest and looking up at him, expecting the explanation he had waited for so long. His heart fastened.

“I am so sorry, for everything. I am sorry for the letter, i am sorry for not speaking to you, I am sorry for doing all this to you. I’ve been such an Idiot, I am sorry.”

A faint smile found its way onto Draco’s features, “The biggest Idiot I ever met.” It faded instantly, “Why did you do it then, all of it?”

Harry slowly breathed air out and looked at Draco for a moment, “I thought it would be safer not to be with me during the war, I thought if Voldemort knew you were with me, he’d kill you. The letter was.. stupid. I know, I should have explained it then but I was so scared it would get into the wrong hands.”

“But it’s over. And it’s been over for half a year and you never came back to me. You acted like a ‘we’ never existed. And Harry, I needed you.

“I’m sorry. But I couldn’t remember you.”

Draco’s heart stopped. Didn’t he ever matter to him? He was about to free himself from him and run away when Harry grabbed his chin and forced him to concentrate on him.

“Draco, listen. I let Hermione obliviate all my memories of you. I just- what if Voldemort had looked into my head and saw you? I couldn’t take the risk.” He took a deep breath “She had problems with getting them back and it took a while. That's why I never came back.”

Draco closed his eyes, he had to take in what he had just heard. The sudden lightness he felt made him almost believe he was flying a broom and catching the snitch. He felt so free, so good, so happy. All of this was goddamn stupid and bloody Potter was stupid too but he never felt happier.

“Aren’t you gonna say something?”, Harry asked (stupidly as Draco added)

“No”, Draco smiled.

He blindly leaned in and found Harry’s jaw. He still kissed it softly and then he found his mouth. And he nearly cried out loud as he finally, _after_   _a_ _goddamn_ _year_ , could feel those lips again. Harry responded momentarily and suddenly Draco had his hands in the mess of Harry’s hair again and he could feel Harry grabbing his face and the whole world spinned around them and just them.

When they finally parted, Draco was breathing heavily again. He opened his eyes and grinned. Harry grinned back and Draco’s heart missed a bit as he slowly got lost in those green eyes again.

And he was happy and it was all Potter’s fault. For that he kissed him some more.


End file.
